22 June 2007

There must be some misunderstanding...

Sometimes I am hypersensitive, after all, I am who I am. Today was one of those days. This morning I was on the phone with Mama and she kept picking on me (as we are prone to do to one another). All in jest of course and, as usual, I picked back... She said something that I would normally laugh off and I got all teary eyed. Then I got all prickly and upset. What she said is unimportant. What she prefaced it with is. That is what set the tone in my crazy little brain. I blame the curls....

As I have said before, she has IIIB lung cancer (and is a non-smoker for all you who are wondering). As I have also said before we are awaiting test results on Monday (please say a prayer or send positive vibes if prayer is not your thing.) I tend to wear my heart on my sleeves regarding the subject. Well she told me to get over something she said because she's "not going to be here much longer". Now the docs have not said anything of the sort but it just set me off emotionally. I did something I rarely do. I told her "I have to go now, good-bye" and hung up on my mother. God forgive me for being so disrespectful, but I did.

She emailed me later to let me know she was sorry she hurt my feelings and now I feel guilty as hell. I have not called her back yet because I still feel like a shit. I know I should get over it and just smile and dial; however, everytime I get ready to punch in the number on the phone I get all weepy.

Mama, if you read this, I am sorry for being overly sensitive. I know better that you were not trying to hurt me and that you were kidding with me as you always do. You are the bigger person for making the first move and I will kick myself in the ass tomorrow for not calling you tonight.

4 comments:

john h said...

klinde' - your mom has already forgiven you and then forgiven you again for not calling her back. The word family should be synonomous with forgiveness...

my thoughts and prayers for your mom...

Klinde said...

Hutchmo, thanks and I agree. I will be a better daughter tomorrow. Too late to call now.

'Coma said...

Klinde, my mother had lung/brain cancer. If you ever need a buddy, I've been through this.
I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is.
Your pal,
trace aka newscoma

Klinde said...

'Coma, I will probably take you up on that. This sucks.