28 June 2007

He's German, get over it.

Let's be frank, there are a lot of things that annoy me... traffic, unruly children, people who let their dogs crap in my yard and don't pick up after them... Next time that one happens, I am going to send Scout over to their sand box for some pay back...

With that being said, I am sick and tired of people treating mein Deutscher differently because he is a German. Yes, he sounds a lot like him. Do me a favor, do not ask him to say something to you in German unless you have something specific in mind for him to say. He is not a bard and he will teach you to say something if you are specific. He will not ramble on in German just so you can hear his accent. If he does, he is probably saying something about you that you really do not want to know. I love it when he does that... Insults you to your face and walks away... Sorry if that is ugly, get over it. This is my rant.

Do not even get me started on his immigration status as you do not want to screw around with me on that at all. We both go through a lot to make certain he is here through the proper channels. He speaks fluent English. That leads me to another thing that bugs the shit out of me. Do not laugh at him. Do not be smarmy when you correct his English. How many freakin' languages do you speak? Well he speaks two fluently and is fairly decent in a third. As a matter of fact, his Spanish is better than mine and I have a Latina heritage. Can't you just look past his saying something in the wrong tense? You understood him, didn't you? Unless of course you are the pizza delivery guy, then you are completely clueless as to what he ordered. That's why I order the pizza, damn it. Yes, he makes some mistakes. Yes, sometimes the Bubbie (who is about to turn seven) corrects his father's English. He had no formal education in the English language. He learned by speaking to others and then moving here and having to speak the language out of necessity.

Another thing that annoys us both is having to hear about Neo Nazis. Just because mein Deutscher is German does not make him a sympathizer to the WWII Nazis or a member of the new regime. Hell, he was not even born until years after the war was over. It is not a part of who he is or who anyone member of his family is (or was). On our trip to Germany we spent a day at Neuengamme and my husband was as repulsed, disgusted and upset as I was as we walked through and read the signs and entered the different areas. The sign at the entrance actually read that those who enter the gates are "stripped of all rights and human dignity".... So suggesting my German is one of those is even that much more offensive.

The other night I was enjoying cocktails with some girlfriends at our local watering hole. An acquantance of mine (and the German's) stopped by my table and asked me "where is your Nazi"? I shit you not. Y'all, he called my husband a nazi!! I was floored. All 5'3" of me stood up and told this (over 6') ass that if he "ever calls my husband that again, I will personally kick his ass". I was flabbergasted that he thought this was acceptable. He just did not get how vulgar, insulting and hurtful that is/was. I do not call ANYONE a racial slur. The jack-ass that called my German that finally (a few weeks later and after being shunned by many people for calling my husband that) approached my German and apologized. My husband graciously accepted. He is more forgiving than I am in that manner. I am still a little pissy about it but realize if he can forgive than I have to as well.

Why am a laying all of this on you today? Well I am in a mood, that's why. I am tired of people being insensitive and downright rude to to other people. I have said this several times before but it bears repeating: We are who we are. We should make no excuses nor offer apologies.

27 June 2007

Crap I've read today...

I got nothing this morning. Usually I have some little speck of something; however, not today. I have done a little web-surfing and this is what I have for your consideration this morning.....

Gigantopithecus - Real or myth?
I don't freakin think so...
What about the carnivores?
Who's your daddy?
Anybody hungry?
When you a moment and need a laugh.....
Brain food, who doesn't need some of that?

26 June 2007

German lesson for today...

1. Bist du immer schon so doof gewessen?

2. Ist da spinat zwischen neinen Zehnen?

3. Ich habe cheezeburger?

The answers to the first is: Have you always been so stupid? And the second one is: Is there spinach between my teeth. I think the third one answers itself. At least I hope it does...

Useful information for any future trip to Deutschland...

25 June 2007

One is silver and the other gold...

Remember that song from your Girl Scout days? Who would have thunk it that I would one day post about it? Not me, that's for certain.

I have only been in the blogosphere since May... Still such a newbie... I've gotta tell y'all something... It's been a wonderful experience. I have an avenue in which to share, vent and express myself how I see fit without being tethered. I share that I have a blog with whom I choose in regards to my family and friends so I can feel free to be as open as I damn well please. Sometimes I get things off my chest and others I post photos of a stuffed duck. I throw out the occasional German word of the day. All in all, it is very liberating.

Back to the title... I have some really good friends. Great friends that I can turn to in thick and thin. You know who you are. However, I have met some wonderful folks through this. On June 14th I met some of the folks who's blogs I lurked. (Is that really a sentence?) I had the pleasure of meeting Brittney, Kat and the famous Aunt B. I also got to hang out with Her Royal Highness, Ginger and the badness herself Ivy who's first sentence cracks me up and who is my hero for her cleaning tips which I might actually follow some day soon. I met the lovely KatieO who actually took German for fun. Who knew people did that?

There are so many more and my fingers are tired from all the linking... However, I hafta bring up that I am soooo looking forward to meeting Lynnster, 'coma and the hot new thing when they venture out this way. Which, incidentally, I hope is very, very soon... (hint, hint).

So I raise a toast to the old and to all the new, mentioned and unmentioned.


Madre, Mere, Mutter

They all equal out to one thing... Mother... We all have one regardless of our circumstances. Our individual relationships with them vary far and wide. I am blessed to have a fabulous one that I often refer to as the Munchkin due to her being all of 4'10"ish. I add the "ish" because she's lost about an inch in her 60 odd years on earth and she has always said that every fraction of an inch counts when you are under 5'.

We are over our misunderstanding of a few days back. I never made the phone call to her; however, she, Daddy and the Nana came over for lunch yesterday... Burgers the size of my head to be exact. Following my usual M.O., I digress.

We had good conversations, my mother and I. I am way over being upset and need to get skin just a few notches thicker. I am trying to enjoy the times I spend with the people I love and care about. After all that is what makes life worthwhile to me. I need to constantly remind myself of that little tidbit. Maybe I will put up post-it notes that will give me the "gentle reminder" I so often need when I am having a blue moment. Or maybe I should just tattoo it to my forehead. Not.

Anywho, the test results are back... Finally... News is of the good. No visible signs of cancer... The fluid surrounding her heart is nothing to be worried about and simply is a side effect of the radiation. The other problems are being addressed in the ways the docs see will suit her best. Everything will be monitored accordingly.

She did do one thing of which I was quite proud... She asserted herself with the oncologist by letting it be known she wants a brain scan. Seems lung cancer all too often metastasizes to the brain. Dr. Sandler does not think this has happened to her; however, he supports her being proactive and the MRI will be on Sunday, July 1st.

Things are looking good, no, better, than expected. If you or a loved one is ever put in the situation that Mama is in, I highly recommend Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center. I am a researching fool and it was good to find a facility accredited by the the National Cancer Institute. I will tell you up front that I pray that you and yours are never in need because this is not of the good.

Lessons learned? Follow God's commandment to Honor your Mother and Father. You will be blessed all the more for having done so.

24 June 2007

Growing old ain't for sissies....

Credit to Bette Davis for that little gem....

But I kid you not, it's so true.... This whole pre-menopausal thing is not fun. Not. One. Little. Bit. How in the hell (thank you PG-13 rating) am I going to live through these horrific hot flashes?! Omigosh, I think am going to spontaneouly combust like a drummer from Spinal Tap. Hair is sprouting up in odd, places, ewwww!! Don't even get me started on the mood swings.... The usually rational me can go from 0 to bitch in 3.2 seconds (I probably just moved to an R rating for that one). Or if I am not getting my bitch on, then it's the tears. Who knew a Hallmark commercial could be so, well, so sad?

I am suffering through the three B's... Bitching, blubbering or burning.

Stop the madness!

Doodle Duck versus Roaming Gnomes

All hail Captain Doodle Duck... Note: If you have a stuffed duck, flight attendants will allow you into the cockpit of a 747 unattended. Nice security measure, huh?

Even Doodle enjoys his fries... Nice table manners with the fork.

Groovin' to the ipod in flight...

Looking at Germany from higher than he can fly... The chef offers a shoulder for Doodle.

Nappin' with the German on the drive to Berlin...

Awaiting room service in Berlin...

All hopped up on Gummi Bears...

Checking emails while waiting to go out...

Getting ready to go out for a little fun...

It says "Duck" so it must be Doodle's drink...

Fishing for his own kind with the help of the German.

Not only did he sit in the cockpit, he also got to drive the "short bus"

Klinde should know ducks don't have antennaes.

Tuckered out...

A kiss from Tina...

Even Doodle likes to channel surf...

Doodle suffers from hitting the mini fridge and having too much Duckstein...

Snoozing with Klinde...

More adventures later... Doodle Duck needs to rest...

23 June 2007

100 Euros and counting....

Seems the German did not tell me that we own a house in Germany... It's not inhabitable. It's next door to his sister's home. Apparently since the ramshackle house is still technically his we owe 100 Euros. Why you may ask? Because the road it is on is a private road and they are repaving it. Our cost is the aforementioned 100 Euro....

Geez, I only have 45 Euros left from my last trip so I guess that means that I have to go the bank and get some money exchanged to pay for a road in front of my new house in Deutschland.

It ain't easy being me.

Tricks to play on little old ladies...

The Nana's first name begins with L... We convinced her this is what we meant when we had her pose this way..... The German added the "antennas"...

We can be mean that way...

I tag, you tag, FLUGTAG!!

You know since it's a German word that me and mein Deutscher HAD to go... If were not so "fluggin" heiss (hot auf Deutsch), we would have stayed longer. How hot you might ask? Well so hot that it actually felt good when someone spilled their beer on me....

Those daring young men and their flying machines... I'll tell you one thing, they have big 'uns that's for sure!

Do you want fries with that?

This made me McLaugh...

22 June 2007

New Friends, Old Tricks...

After alll he has been through, Hutchmo taught me a valuable lesson tonight. In his comments he told me "The word family should be synomous with forgiveness..."

I cried... Joyous tears.... I will call tomorrow...

There must be some misunderstanding...

Sometimes I am hypersensitive, after all, I am who I am. Today was one of those days. This morning I was on the phone with Mama and she kept picking on me (as we are prone to do to one another). All in jest of course and, as usual, I picked back... She said something that I would normally laugh off and I got all teary eyed. Then I got all prickly and upset. What she said is unimportant. What she prefaced it with is. That is what set the tone in my crazy little brain. I blame the curls....

As I have said before, she has IIIB lung cancer (and is a non-smoker for all you who are wondering). As I have also said before we are awaiting test results on Monday (please say a prayer or send positive vibes if prayer is not your thing.) I tend to wear my heart on my sleeves regarding the subject. Well she told me to get over something she said because she's "not going to be here much longer". Now the docs have not said anything of the sort but it just set me off emotionally. I did something I rarely do. I told her "I have to go now, good-bye" and hung up on my mother. God forgive me for being so disrespectful, but I did.

She emailed me later to let me know she was sorry she hurt my feelings and now I feel guilty as hell. I have not called her back yet because I still feel like a shit. I know I should get over it and just smile and dial; however, everytime I get ready to punch in the number on the phone I get all weepy.

Mama, if you read this, I am sorry for being overly sensitive. I know better that you were not trying to hurt me and that you were kidding with me as you always do. You are the bigger person for making the first move and I will kick myself in the ass tomorrow for not calling you tonight.

Funf Jahr

Funf Jahr = Five year... And that is what is being celebrated today - Five years of marriage for Ambie and the chef. I have known the chef about 15 years or so but have only known Ambie almost three years. They are a wonderful couple (and I'm not just saying that 'cuz their family) and mein Deutscher and I love them to pieces! Aside from the Bubbie, they are the only members of the German's family that reside on the good ole U.S. of A.

So happy anniversary you two!! Much love from the two of us! Here's to 50 more!

21 June 2007

Why is "she" still in the news?

Keep her in jail... For the love of all that is good, keep her out of the news... Even her neighbors are begging for mercy.

Lawd have mercy....


So I am cruisin along reading my normal "blog roll" when I hit upon a post by Ginger that caught my eye.... Why aren't I twittering? I am missing out on important things and Yiddish words? Why don't I know about which antiquated, sequenced country star has a "big 'un"?

Ladies and gentlemen, I may have to sign up for a free account tomorrow to find out what the buzz is and keep my fingers on the pulse what is really important in the world.

20 June 2007

Hoot, hoot....

Are all bloggers night owls? I mean I can go a loooong time with few comments and then it hits the double digits in the p.m. and (to quote Emeril) "BAM"!

It seems that my new buddy Ron stays awake all hours as I do.

I have to be at work (20 miles away) at 7:30a. That means I have to hit the road at 6:45a to avoid the hell that is 440.

I am not a morning person so the alarm clock goes off at an obscene time and it is a test of pure will power to rise and shine. It can be downright arduous. The German leaves before I awake and usually gives me one more shove to rouse me.

Are you a night owl too? How do you handle it?

Coffee and diet Coke is of the good...


Why am I addicted to reality TV? Tonight has consisted of watching So You Think You Can Dance and Top Chef wondering why I quit ballet and what's in the fridge that I can make into something tasty and low fat that I can nosh on...

And I thought it was pitiful that I scheduled my life around Lost.

I need me a 12 step program....

And a life....

All the German you need to know..

Eine beer, bitte. = One beer, please.

Nuff said....

'coma, this one's for you...


PS: I know I posted this photo before, get over it.

Rosary and Vigil

What a tribute to a my friend tonight. Standing room only at the church. Personally I stood in line for 40 minutes to have 15 seconds with his widow and give her my love and condolences. There was a complete pictorial of the life of a man who gave his all for God, family, work and friends. It was a beautiful sight to behold and I am a better person for having known this incredible 85 year old man.

Tex, you will be missed; however, I know your legacy will go on. I will check in on Mary from time to time and do what I can for her.

19 June 2007

Death comes in three's...

With the title being what it is I am scared of what has yet to occur.

I am a practicing Catholic be that what it may. I have a spiritual advisor at my parents' church and worship at what best suits the German and me.

I taught at my parents' church and met an amazing man... The spouse of my advisor (an amazing woman to behold). A former Baptist turned Catholic and a father of nine... Yes, count 'em, 9.

He died this week and I am at a loss for what the world is missing. A husband, a father and a WWII vet. Still working at his age (either late 70's or early 80's). An absolute God-send of a man and a prime example of what He would want on this planet.

Rest in peace Tex there is a special place in heaven for you and He is waiting to hear your tales first hand like I was so blessed to do.

Holy hell....

I am sorry to all my students eager to learn German "one word at a time"; however, sometimes life gets in the way. We are awaiting test results from Mama's latest tests and I am nervous.

So I share with you the word(s) of the day.... Ich konnte nicht einschlafen = I could not go to sleep. I know I should. I have told all the important people in my life "guten nacht" and all the other razzmatazz that goes along with it...

Her tests are not back yet. CT scan on 6/11, results on 6/18... Scarring on the lungs... Not 100% typical of IIIB lung cancer. Some fluid on the lungs... Again, not typical of IIIB lung cancer. If you knew Mama you would say she is anything but typical and that's a good thing.

Potassium is not right... Guess what? Not typical. Other problems? Also not typical. Appointments being set up with other docs? Yep.

Freaking out?? You betcha. Can you sleep?

Not without mother's little helper.

This would be of the suck.

God invented Xanax for a reason.

Tag, I'm it.....

I am excited... Never been tagged for a Meme before; however, Sara Sue deflowered" me today...

So without further adieu, here are 6 weird things I do getting ready for sleep or while sleeping...

1. I smoke one last cigarette. I know, I need to quit. I will once I finally get the script for Chantix filled.
2. I make sure the kitty is in the room with me.
3. I strip off the bottoms of my pj's that I have been bumming around in. Can't sleep with 'em on because they get all tangled.
4. I notoriously wake up a good 5-10 times a night. I know because I make a mark on a piece of paper for each time I do. I know I am weird. Get over it, you are not sleeping next time me like the German and the kitty.
5. My pillow always has to be cool. I sleep with two pillows just for me so I can alternate.
6. I set my alarm for 45 minutes before I have to get up so I can hit snooze 4 or 5 times. The German wonders why I just don't sleep for 45 more minutes uninterrupted; however, this is what works for me.

Bonus: I keep a bottle of water nearby so I can sip on it through the night...

So I am tagging Ron and Lynnster and Gingersnaps.

It's hairy out there.....

When you wear a sleeveless dress there is usually some grooming that goes along with it. This morning I was very careful to make certain my pits were shaved before donning my outfit. I had accomplished the arduous brow pluckage last night. I am a fiercely hairy beast... Just look at the hair...

Lo and behold when I sat down in my chair this morning upon arrival at the office I find something awry... I forgot to shave my legs. Actually I think I have "forgotten" to shave my legs for about a week... It's not a chastity belt for me but more of a pain in the ass. You think I would have noticed said omission when I put on lotion but, not being a morning person, I guess I overlooked it.

Now I am reduced to sitting on my legs and hoping no one comes by to see me.

Could be worse, I could have a botched Brazilian.

18 June 2007

Don't get me wrong, I love my cat....

Seriously, I do love the evil siamese; however, she is a cat, not a person (though sometimes I wonder). Honestly, I do indeed know the difference and am a card-carrying, bonafide "crazy cat lady". I love her to pieces for being a love bug and a source of endless amusement. She is always happy to see me when I get home and we "discuss" our day. Do I call her my "child"? Yes; however she is a cat....

Why do I emphasize this? It is because an idiot at work (who has no human offspring) compared the death of her pet to the death of another co-worker's small child.... Yep, y'all heard me right... She actually said that she understood this other woman's pain because her cat died. I was completely dumbstruck. I did not know whether to slap this inconsiderate bitch or console the true mother who birthed a child who died way before her time. (Note: I chose the later.)

The idiot who made the comment had no clue how UTTERLY WRONG her commentary about her dead cat was/is... She continued on with her soliloquy about how her kitten did this and her kitten did that; therefore she "knows what it's like to loose a child"... Amazing display of insensitivity... The true mother was at a loss for words. Her loss was not recent but that does not discount the pain she lives, breathes and feels everyday for the loss of her angel.

Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE the kitty... I know the difference tho....

17 June 2007

Things my Daddy taught me...

1. It's okay to take naps.
2. Hold hands before crossing the street.
3. Make sure all the doors are locked.
4. Work hard.
5. Weedeaters ain't for sissies.
6. Treat Mama with love and respect.
7. Call the people you love.
8. It's okay to hog the remote control.
9. Not everyone should use power tools.
10. The ability to drive a five speed is good.
11. Do not speak so quickly (still working on that one).
12. It's good to be pulled in a red radio flyer.
13. How to set the security alarm at my house.
14. How to program my electronic thermostat.
15. It's okay to eat sweets for breakfast.
16. Kids with ADHD should not drink coffee.
17. It is hard to quit smoking even when you know you should.
18. Learn about your families past.
19. Respect your elders.
20. Have a little faith.
21. It is not hard to make a roux.
22. Take photos - especially of the people you love and care for - and often.
23. Early to bed, early to rise... Haven't quite mastered that one yet...
24. It is okay to take chances and risks.
25. It is okay to show your family love and affection.

Daddy, I love you with my whole heart and I am grateful God saw it fit to give me you. Happy Father's Day!!

14 June 2007

Fat Wash Manuring

Okay, I totally had a blast with this link. So much so that I typed in the original title of the post "Fun with Anagrams" to get it switched into what is in the title portion...

My full name becomes "I'm the skinnier madman in alarm"... Must have spent too much time over at Ron's reading about zombies....

13 June 2007

Kiss your ass goodbye....

die Kuss = kiss

In a former life it was a salt water eel... Auf deutsch it is aal... I just call it yummy!

We got it at the fischmarkt and it was smoked and my favorite food I had in Germany this Spring. Der Kuss is because I am thanking it for giving it's life for my personal satisfaction...

No Ron, unfortunately no zombies were involved in the death of the eel...

die Stiefmutter

die Stiefmutter = Step mother

Let's set the record straight regarding the Bubbie.... He is not mine by birth... He is mine by marriage... He is six. He will be seven next month. He is by all accounts, beautiful, brilliant and quite mature for his age. That is if there is such a thing as a mature six year old...

Not being physcially able to have my own offspring increases my love for the Bubbie even more so. He is a smaller replica of mein Deutscher. Not much smaller mind you as the kid is about 4'3" (or less than a foot shorter than me if you must know).

I am sorry we do not get to see him very often; however, he lives in New Jersey so visits are hard to come by since it involves flights and possibly hotels and rental cars if we just go to see him. Gets pricey quickly... Especially if you would actually like to do something with him or (gasp) eat...

I think I am taking on the role of "Stiefmutter" quite well. I treat him with honesty, integrity and respect. I cheer his successes and kiss away the boo-boo's. It's a given that I love the Bubbie. I have known him since the day he was born. Used to baby sit for him when the German was married to his ex-wife. My whole family has embraced him as well. With my being an only child, he is the only grandchild Mama and Daddy will know. The Bubbie refers to them as Memere and Pepere, the Cajun nicknames for grandparents. The Bubbie delights in the Nana having lost his last biological great-grandparent 4 or 5 years ago. Mama, Daddy and Nana love having him around and are utterly exhausted upon his departure having played, cuddled and loved on him the entire time he visits.

With the notable exception of the cat being totally petrified of him, there is no problem in the world with the Bubbie. Wherein the problem lies is the mother of the Bubbie... She and I were never close. I was always the German's friend, not her's. I had known him for almost four years before they even met. She expects us to take the Bubbie according to what fits her schedule. She expects my German to be the one who has to take a full day off from work to pick him up while she is the one that can conveniently retrieve him on a Sunday. Do not get me wrong, mein Deutscher has no problem taking a day off from work to retrieve his son - that is not the issue. The problem is the expectation on her behalf that my German make the sacrifice of doing so to bring him for a visit because she, in her own words, "does not want to waste a vacation day". Selbstsuchtig = selfish anyone?

She does not adhere to a phone schedule with him. Mein Deutscher calls almost everyday. Usually with no joy as both the house and cell phone go unanswered. Two or three days later she will call and leave a message about how the Bubbie "did not feel like talking on the phone" for one reason or another. I get a bit huffy on that one... He is six, tell him he needs to talk to his Papa before he can watch Nick Jr or before he gets to go play outside. Even if it is just 60 seconds, I love the way my German's face lights up just hearing that little voice pipe up with "hi, Papa". Not being a full time mom or step mom, I am not sure if he is always that way; however, if it were me, my mother would tell me I needed to talk to my father before moving on to another thing... Oh wait a minute, that really did happen! Daddy traveled extensively when I was younger and that was the rule....

She approaches me with issues, questions, travel plans; however, when I breach the subject of travel first I am told I "am not his parent". True; however, fair's fair. If you approach me allow me the same courtesy to approach you. I am not trying to be his mother. He has a mother and when I married the German, I sent her a very heartfelt note telling her that I know my role is to cherish and encourage and love the Bubbie and watch out for his well being.

I am blessed to not be a product of divorce. The German is as well. None of my closest friends are the children of divorced parents nor are they step parents. Same thing with my boat-load of aunt and uncles. It is a slippery slope and I have no frame of reference for it. Never do I want to be compared to what seems to be the negatives of being a step mom. It is far too Cinderalla-esque for my tastes.

So I am calling all mom's and step mom's for advice as to how to handle the situation. Thoughts? Suggestions? All are welcome.

12 June 2007


die Ruhestand = retirement

Not that I am fortunate enough to be anywhere close to it; however, it is a subject my German and I discussed at length last night. Our hopes and dreams upon retirement hinge upon the planning we do now. Let's be frank, our planning has sucked. And we are not getting any younger.

Just as it is with most things, once you start thinking about it, signs apppear from all over. Just today as I perused MSNBC.com, I came across this article about the very thing we spoke about last night. It's always that way... You want to buy a certain brand of car and then suddenly they are all you see on the road...

I know I mentioned that our planning sucks; however, I should clarify that we both participate in our respective company's retirement plans. We are both quite fortunate to work for privately owned companies that are much more generous with their contribution match than what we had when working with publicly held companies. We both are socking away more funds than we were before we were married because we can afford to since we have a double income family. We are not tucking away nearly as much as we should if we would like to retire even a little bit earlier.

We have some other opportunities afforded us that several people we know do not have available to them. My family is far from wealthy; however, with proper planning my parents squirreled away a nice retirement nest egg for themselves. With the knowledge that their only child is not so good at the saving money aspect, my folks basically retired for three to guarantee that I would be okay with what I had and the padding they left behind for me. For their love and foresight, I am completely grateful. Truly that is something for which I am completely blessed. With what I have and what they have for me, retirement should be an option I can easily face.

11 June 2007

die Blumen

I love me some flowers... A.k.a. die Blumen... Love what is in our backyard!!

P.S. Guess you now realize I figured out a word for the day... Lynnster, we will be speaking German... Some day....

Reverse-Angle Monday

The thing is that I am worried about what the word of the day should be.... No ideas really stick out and it is not like I do not have a dictionary to pour over to glean some insight into what random word to select... Usually my choice is based on how I am feeling at the moment I begin to post; however, there are a few words I wanted to pick just because there are far too many consonants in them and they are over 20+ letters long. For some unknown reason, those amuse me. The German does not see the humor in them but hey, that's his problem.

Now this whole reverse-angle Monday thing came into play because someone just sent me an email about English as a second language (ESL). It's a bit too risque to link to because, quite frankly, Mama does not like the "F" word and I told her that I would not use it in here although my normal days usually has it fly on occasion. Anywho, back to what I was getting to... With English being mein Deutscher's second language, he occasionally makes some errors that make me howl (and, on occasion, snort). My favorite is "that would be suck". I tried to explain to him that something can suck; however, it can not actually be suck... That was after I spit my beer on him, but that's another story....

Stop and think about it.... "that would be suck" is such a great phrase. I actually have other people who use it (with the German's permission of course, NOT!). "Oh, this meeting has lasted over three hours... that would be suck". See? It's actually kinda handy! I wanted to title my blog that but after googling it discovered you get lots of porn that way... If Mama does not like the "F" word, she certainly was not going to like my blog hanging out with XXX sites...

I guess you could say my lack of inspiration for a word of the day, well, to quote mein Deutscher, "that would be suck"...

10 June 2007

Count your gesegnets...

Gesegnet = blessing...

Count 'em, folks. They are plentiful even in your darkest moments.

Even when Mama was diagnosed with cancer, I was counting the blessings in my life. My faith and my family are amongst two of the largest. I am a fortunate person inasmuch that I not only love, but I also actually like my parents. I dig spending time with them. Unfortunately I can not right now because the German has the lingering effects of a cold he brought home last weekend and I still may be an incubator.

Can't be around the parents and the Nana if there is a chance I could get any of them sick. No germs from the German are to be shared in such a fashion.

So today I thought I would share funf (5) Gesegnets with you:

1. Being a complete bum all day was decadent and refreshing.
2. The mango margarita I had a lunch was quite the tasty treat.
3. Being rolled onto NiT today made me very happy!
4. The German and I have decided to quit smoking. Now we just have to pick our quit day.
5. I am almost ready for bed....

09 June 2007

100 things

1. Cockroaches, balloons, clowns and tornadoes terrify me. Not necessarily in that order.
2. I am hopelessly addicted to reality TV.
3. I get teary-eyed when I hear the national anthem played live.
4. My toenails are painted year-round. Even in the winter when I wear closed-toe shoes.
5. I have never ridden on a motorcycle.
6. Yes my hair is naturally curly. Do you think I would do this on purpose?
7. I used to runway model in my late teens, early 20's.
8. I sometimes read the dictionary for fun.
9. I hate shaving my legs but do so out of necessity.
10. I love pouring over my cookbook collection. Then I plan fabulous meals for friends and family.
11. My poison of choice is beer. Wine is good if paired with a tasty meal and I love a margarita or sangria with my Mexican food; however, if asked, beer is what I select first.
12. I am a night owl. Mornings are never good for me.
13. My gray hair is much worse than the rest of the reddish brown mop. Some day I am going to look like Don King... See also #6...
14. I have lived in 5 states: Texas, Kentucky, Louisiana, North Carolina and Tennessee. Six if you count the state of confusion I am perpetually in...
15. Although I am a UT fan, I really do not think anyone looks good in the color orange.
16. If you are a mosquito, I am like nectar of the gods to you.
17. I only drink my water icy cold.
18. Caffeine affects me quickly and badly... Nervous habit anyone?
19. My husband is more addicted to chocolate than I am. I did not know that was humanly possible.
20. I do not run unless something big is chasing me.
21. I have fractured two bones in my body. My left ankle and my skull. The skull thing explains a lot about me.
22. I have known mein Deutscher for over fourteen years; however, we have only been a couple for three. As friends, we went through our first marriages and divorces together.
23. I was once propositioned by Axl Rose. He smoked most of my cigarettes. I said no.
24. When I was a little girl I practically memorized the book "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
25. My dream job would be to own a restaurant or catering business. I have actually catered small dinner parties for a couple of close friends.
26. Humidity is not my friend. I can not handle being overheated. See also #'s 6 and 13.
27. My house is plastered with post-it notes with the name of things auf Deutsch.
28. My husband and I sometimes dance in the living room. I think it is very romantic.
29. Generally I do not leave the house without lipstick on. It was something drilled into my brain by Mama.
30. I do not think that I can go five minutes without talking. Some days I am a blathering fool.
31. Camping. Just say no.
32. Unless you are a nurse please do not wear white shoes. Nuff said.
33. I love me a good bonfire.
34. Raisins are evil and must be destroyed. What did that poor grape do to deserve the whole dehydration thing?
35. If you live at my house, cat hair is a fashion accessory.
36. There is way too much paprika at my house. Silly German cuisine.
37. Naps on a Sunday afternoon ROCK my world.
38. I love the way some words sound and roll trippingly off the tongue like periwinkle, conundrum, onomatopoeia... If you do not know what these mean, look them up. Seriously, because I am not going to tell you.
39. Garlic is a cooks best friend. If you dipped it in chocolate I would probably eat it. See also #19. Side note: I have nothing to fear from vampires because of the volume of garlic I consume.
40. I have OCD when it comes to numbers. I still can tell you every phone number I have ever had. I count how many stairs there are... There are four on my front porch... Fifteen from the downstairs to the second floor... Six from the deck to the patio and six from the landing down to the garage... I need therapy. That should probably be #41...
41. I can not believe I have lived 41 years...
42. Anyone who tries to tell you a diamond is "too big" is just lying (or jealous).
43. Speedo's are not the fashion statement you want to make. Thank goodness the German has become "Americanized" in that way.
44. There is no such thing as something being too chocolaty. See also #19.
45. I am a hopeless romantic.
46. Everyone who sees my German's legs agree that they are sexy as hell.
47. I write down five blessings in my life each and every day. When it is a bad day I know I still have to seek five good things and that usually perks me up a bit.
48. I give almost everyone a nickname. I call the husband my German or mein Deutscher. Mama is the Munchkin (she's under five feet tall), my son is the Bubie... The list goes on and on.
49. I can not stand Paris Hilton. And do not even get me started on Britny Spears, Lindsay Lohan or the Simpson sisters...
50. I worship at the altar of the crazy cats.
51. Actually, I am a practicing Catholic - a rare breed in Nashville.
52. I have season tickets to the opera with Mama.
53. I never take off my earrings... Been wearing the same pair for years.
54. I just can not seem to keep my car clean. Mama says gypsies live in it. I have yet to meet them. They are probably under the clutter.
55. I really should floss more.
56. My eyebrows need waxing.
57. Yield. Merge. Learn the difference.
58. I give the cat way too much attention.
59. I would rather have the iPod playing versus the TV as my background noise.
60. I have been to over ten different countries.
61. I would not mind living in Germany for a bit (after I learn the language). See also #27.
62. There is always cheese in my fridge.
63. That thing on the left side of your steering column is a turn signal. Use it.
64. If you are going to wear sandals, please get a pedicure.
65. Learn something new each day. I dare you.
66. This is the year I was born. I need to learn more about what happened that year.
67. Immigration laws kill me...
68. I got into "Lost" after the second season. I now have the complete series on DVD.
69. There is usually a candle lit when I am home.
70. I will eat turnip greens and spinach but not mustard greens, go figure.
71. My car is (almost) an antique. I did not plan for that.
72. I have never voted for a Republican. Ever.
73. I am so not a tom boy. I once climbed up a tree but would not climb back down. Mama had to come get me. Guess that explains why she has a bad back...
74. Pixar animation rules.
74. I am sooooo looking forward to the last Harry Potter book on July 21st.
75. I miss "Seinfeld".
75. I share my birthday with Marlon Brando and Eddie Murphy.
76. I could watch "Animal House", "Pulp Fiction", "Shawshank Redemption" and "When Harry met Sally" over and over again.
77. Butter rules.
78. I believe in ghosts.
79. My hair is pulled up the minute I get home. See #'s 6, 13 and 26.
80. My husband is sexy as hell to me. That's good.
81. I smoke way too much and need to quit. Mama has IIIB lung cancer having never smoked.
82. I have seven fans running in my house at all times.
83. We painted the garage with the sun, moon, stars and clouds so the Bubie could go "camping". Cost a small fortune and worth every penny.
84. Nobody said life is fair. See #81.
85. I gag every time I clean up a hair ball or scoop the litter box.
86. I believe in God. I guess this really should be #1.
87. I am in love with my husband heart, mind and soul.
88. I wish every married couple could say the same.
89. I have no idea why I started a blog because I am slammed in my personal life.
90. I have lost over 30 pounds in the last year. I still have fifteen more to go.
91. I can not tell the difference between rap and hip-hop and make no apologies.
92. I wash my hands several times a day.
89. For the love of all that is good, flush.
90. Do not expect hand outs. We all have hard times. That is what savings accounts are all about.
91. Do not be prejudiced about gay couples. Most gay couples I know have a better relationship than the married couples I know.
92. Love takes patience and attention. Make room for both.
93. If you live in America, learn the language.
94. Fire ants suck.
95. Beer can be like truth syrum.
96. I can not parallel park.
97. My husband can park anything anywhere.
98. Few things make me as happy as being with people I love and care about. I am very passionate about my family and friends.
99. I should do crunches.
1oo. You have just learned 99 new things about me. Cop a squat and contemplate 100 new things about yourself.

Already planning on vacation next year....

Next year I want to celebrate the German's 45th birthday in his hometown. It also coincides with the Hamburg Harbor's Birthday.

On that trip I plan on seeing Fischmarkt from having been out on the Reeperbahn having a little fun...

Guess I better start saving my pennies... And Euros!

Hey Ginger and Lynnster, it worked!! Thanks for your help ladies!!!

Ironic, isn't it?

I love me some irony, yes I do. Mein Deutscher and I were working on my vocabulary and were going through the names for body parts... der Fuss, die Hand,.. Der is masculine and die is feminine for "the".

So anywho we are going over the words when two words struck me as funny... The word for breast is die Brust (feminine); however, the word for nipple is der Nippel (masculine)... Don't know why that tickled me so but it did...

08 June 2007

Unfortunately, your word of the day...

Lunge Krebs (bet I do not need to translate to lung cancer, do I?)

Over a year... 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days... It was a year April 24th... That was the day the wonderful Dr. Bill Putnam of Vanderbilt cut the horrible cancer out of Mama... One of the best and worst days of my life as I remember it. I know Daddy was as scared as I was. After all, he's known her over 44 years and I had only known her the 40 I had lived through to that point.

I remember when she was first diagnosed (in March 2006) with non-small cell lung cancer. The pulmonologist told us it looked like IA and that it should easily be removed with a wedgectomy His prognosis was no radiation and no chemo, that's it. I remember he actually said the other "C" word.... CURE...

I remember on the 24th of April when Dr. Putnam called to have Daddy and I come up to discuss the surgery with him. I was so anxious because her first CT scan showed something the size of a quarter and now the pure evil should be removed from her petite body. I was nervous, anxious, jittery and about to throw up.

He led us into the room to speak to us. I had my trusty notebook and pen at hand, you never know when you might need to take notes. It was worse than he thought.... Hidden behind the quarter-sized tumor was a much larger grapefruit-sized one that did not light up during all the preliminary tests. It was wrapped around some lymph nodes... How many? Lots. Had to take those too. Fortunately the right lung looked clear and there was nothing else showing cancer.

Prognosis? Much different than the pulmonologist's original thought... Now there will be chemo - about 12 weeks worth of it. Now there will be radiation - about 6-8 weeks of it. Chances of it spreading? Yep. Now I really want to puke.

The look on Daddy's face must have mirrored my own. Complete, utter devastation and worry. My immediate family is a family of three. An oddity in Catholicism. We are a tight knit crew and we have the large extended family to prove it. Daddy is the baby of ten and Mama is the middle of five. Cousins out the wazoo.... However, we are the only part of the contingency in Tennessee... Oops, forgot to mention that the Nana lives with the folks. The Nana is the Mama's mother... I was living with the German (and about to get engaged in eight days unbeknownst to me) and, unfortunately, he was out of town on business this day. Daddy and I had to be there for one another and our one rule was to not cry in front of Mama.

Chemo and radiation are a bitch. I never want to go through the pure hell Mama went through. Ever. Wouldn't wish it on another living soul. Period.

She got a diagnosis of "no new visible sign of disease" back in the fall of 06. It is time for the next Cat Scan results next week and we are praying, hoping, wishing, crossing our fingers and everything else that this will say the same... No visible sign of disease.

Cancer is a vicious, evil beast and shows no discrimination or regard to any that fall victim to it. I say that even more so because Mama is not a smoker, never has been... It's just "one of those things".

People, those that know me and those that do not, I ask for your prayers for Mama. If you are not a prayerful person, I ask for your kind thoughts and well wishes for her. 63 years and some odd months is way too short a time for her. I want my parents to happily and healthfully celebrate their 50th anniversary in 6+ years and many more to come.

I just needed to get this off my chest. The nervous, anxious, jittery thing is kicking in again. Thank God for a nice cold Yazoo Dos Perros to wind down this week.

There will be a much lighter, happier German word the next time. Promise.

07 June 2007

Oscar, put your lid back on your trashcan!

I still have a migraine... Almost two days later my head still hurts. To quote my German, "that would be suck"... Yes, he says that, and yes, I snort each time he does....

Today's word is norglerisch and it means grouchy, hence the title of the blog.... Yes, I am grouchy and who would not be after 48 hours worth of headache?

I need me some Aspercreme and some kick-ass drugs. It was so bad that I skipped Deutschklasse tonight and am attempting some studying on my own to keep up. We are currently studying food and I love me some food...

06 June 2007

Even with a migraine, here is your word of the day

Schmerzen haben....

Means to be in pain... Migraines bite the big one and the Imitrex has yet to kick in after almost 24 hours. Me thinks it is bedtime....

Guten nacht!

Migraines and Homework and Tired, Oh My!

Today was not a good day. I was the lucky recipient of a migraine last night and today. Not just a run of the mill migraine where I suffer through my day at work only to come home and crawl into bed... But one of those full throttle migraines that include the oh, so lovely classic sympton of nausea... Yes, I spent last night and today thanking God the bathroom floor is cold.

I am finally back amongst the living having told myself if I do not get up (at 4:00ish) that I would wake up around 1:00a wondering what I should do with myself.

Thanks to Lynnster and GingerSnaps for the tutorial... I tried again; however, in my drugged state I failed my task. Ginger, I did drop you an email for further assistance, thanks.

Side note to Jentina, no, I do not have too much time on my hands. On the contrary, I am up to my neck with way too many things on my very heavy plate. Sorry to disappoint, Cuz! And yes, go Spurs! And love to all my Texas posse, miss you guys!

05 June 2007

I could use a little help, please.

If anyone wants to hook a girl up, I would love to know how to post a link in the middle of text whilst in a blog... I have practiced and tried to no avail.

Sucks to be me...

I LOVE the Autobahn!!

That's almost 136 miles per hour between you and me folks.... Loved it!!!

I did scream like a little girl when I did it and told mein Deutscher to tell me when I had to slow down because, after all, the signs were just whizzing by....


Brandenburger Tor (a.k.a. the Brandenburg Gate)

Welcome to Berlin!! On our trip to Hamburg to see the German's family and friends, the German, Ambie, the chef and I took a side trip to soak in a bit more culture and history.

This is my fave pic of the batch. I love the whole diaganol view from which I shot the photo... I am having one blown up to hang at the homestead. I was in awe of actually being at "The Wall" and for all the history that tumbles into the brain from being there... "The Wall" came down in 1989 and I remember watching it on TV.

The only thing that detracted from the view was that there is a Starbucks a few feet away... Commercialism sucks.

Let's talk about sex....

Now that I have your attention I thought I would share the German word of the day... What is a simple three letter word in English is der Geschlechtsverkehr auf Deutsch. So now you know. What you do to seduce someone with it is up to you...

04 June 2007

My favorite German word...

Ambie (the American sis-in-law) and I both loved this word!! It is pronounced Pop en bootle (emphasis on the POP)... We wanted to go there "just because"; however, our Germans (my German and his younger brother) said it is not a destination of choice in Hamburg. They told us you only wind up there if you have had too much to drink and happen to miss your stop... There, I learned something new about Hamburg.

It is about two hours away from our stop at Billwerder Moorfleet (which is close to Bergedorf). Hamburg is a large city "state". Mein Deutscher was raised close to Bergedorf (kind of like the Lebanon/Mt. Juliet area compared to downtown Nashville).

If fun words amuse you like they do me, I hope you enjoyed Poppenbuttel... Tomorrow I probably will share my latest, greatest favorite word auf Deutsch...

Yikes!! Homework!!

Yeah, I know, I've already told you I am married to a German... I had my little moment on the soap box about immigration... What I have not shared with the masses is that I am taking Deutschklasse... To translate, German class; however, I bet that translated...

Let me tell you what... I took seven years of French, but never, let me emphasize NEVER, have attempted anything as difficult as German. Kudos to those of you whom have mastered the language involving way too many constanants... Just to give you an example, the word in the photo means high flood wall. It is on a brick wall at the harbor in Hamburg, Germany... The German's home town, in case you are wondering...

So to help myself with my vocabulary, I have now plastered the house with a bazillion sticky notes with the names of things. Maybe I will post a photo of my little learning technique once the battery for the camera recharges...

Guten Nacht!

03 June 2007

The Evil Siamese

Apparently it is naptime and I disturbed someone....

However, she looks precious as always and it's not like she won't fall asleep immediately after I leave... It ain't easy being a kitty......


The chef and his wife suffered a loss last month. Nittany, their faithful, loyal pooch, passed away. Nittany was a wonderful pup and gave great joy for the fourteen plus years that she was on this planet.

Ambie, I am so sorry for your loss. I know Nittany was always there for you. I know she will be there for you in spirit. I know Duchess must be lonely for her too.

God bless you, Nittany. May you rest in peace.

02 June 2007

Immigration Issues

If you have paid a bit of attention you will realize that I am married to a German. Not just someone with German ancestry, but a bonafide German national citizen. He legally migrated to this country over ten years ago.

Aside from voting privileges he has every other right afforded a naturalized or native American. My German did it the right way... The legal way... He moved here, applied for all the necessary paperwork and waited until receipt of said papers before seeking employment. He also honed his skills in learning the native tongue of Nashville - English. It was six months before his paperwork came through and he could seek employment. I can tell you during that six month sabbatical the yard and house never looked so good.

I am a second generation American on Mama's side. The Nana came across the border from Mexico at a very tender age. She was here legally as well. She was naturalized in the mid 80's. I joke about being able to vote in my first election (1984, but I digress) before she would have the same right. Again, she did it the way the German did, legally.

I have a very big issues with people not doing things legally. It really pisses me off if you want the truth. The German and I have spoken about this at length. He feels just as strongly and, in my humble opinion, has the right to rant and rave about the subject. Since he is blog-free, I am taking the opportunity to do so for us both.

The German and I have spoken about moving to Germany sometime in the future. Probably for a bit of time when we retire as I am an only child and Mama is one year clean from IIIB lung cancer. (On a completely separate note, no, she was not a smoker, so don't even go there.) I told him that I would not be comfortable living there until I mastered (dare I say "conquer"?) the German language. Most folks in his home town speak my native tongue so I really do not have to learn German; however, it is the right thing to do... Let me repeat that, IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO BECAUSE THEY SPEAK GERMAN IN GERMANY. I do not expect nor assume that everyone around me would speak English. After all, it would be German spoken there as the native language. I have not dialed a number in Germany and was offered the option to press "2" for English... Everything spoken was in German because, well, because we were in Germany. Go figure.

I am all for people coming to America to realize the American dream; however, do it the right way, the legal way. Follow the rules of engagement and do what you are supposed to do. No, it is not easy. No, it is not a short process. But damn it to hell, it is the RIGHT thing to do. If you live here, learn the language, follow the rules... Do not expect me to cater to you because you do not. My German struggles at time with things written in English; however, he realizes he is in America and that's just how things go. He seeks assistance, usually from me, his trusty "interpreter" and does not expect things to be written nor repeated in German for his benefit because guess what? This is America and we speak English here.

It's alive....

Have mercy on me... The German woke up from his latest nap and is now watching a bad movie... Not just a little bad, but REALLY, REALLY bad... What makes it worse is that his head cold has affected his hearing and I am being assaulted with how very LOUD the damned TV is... It is blaring and making my ears ring... Tinnitis anyone?

What happened to the sick German of earlier? The one who needed bed rest? Where did he go? I miss him because then it was peaceful and I could sit and listen to the blissful strains of the ipod... Gone is the quiet, relaxed atmosphere that the evil siamese and I were enjoying... Now it is time for the onslaught of some kung fu movie...

I would change rooms if the 'puter had a good set up. It's just much more physically comfortable to connect at the desk versus the dining room table. Unfortunately, it puts me in the bonus room along with the TV and Sneezy, the German non-dwarf. Maybe I should slip him a benadryl in a moment....

Times a wastin'... Or to be honest, wastin' time...

I am a tad bored.... The German is sick with a bad head cold and is taking his second or third (I lost count) nap of the day. The human petri dish was earlier spotted sniffing and sneezing his merry way throughout the house spreading his germs to all with nary a thought of my not wanting to share.

We had much planned today. He was to get a hair cut, there was a flower bed screaming out for mercy from the weeds that have taken over, there was shopping to attend to... The usual weekend drill in Hermitage has come to a grinding halt due to a raging case of the sniffles. God forbid I weed alone. That is one of the perks of being married, isn't it? You have a partner to battle the nefarious weeds that threaten to take over any spot in the yard. The only good thing about not having rain in eons is that I am not left the task of mowing said yard. I am far to prissy to use the weed eater, not to mention the fact that the damned thing intimidates the hell out of me... But that's a completely different story.

So here I sit with the trusty lap top that Nana got me for my 40th birthday. BTW, thanks, Nana, you rock! I sit, I type, I take sips from the liter bottle of Dasani. The German slumbers in the Bubbie's room while the evil siamese curls up on the sofa having exhasuted herself from too much time outdoors stalking lizards. Speaking of the evil siamese, today she is eight. Hard to believe the little "bundle o joy" and I have been together for so long.

As I sit and type, I think to myself "Klinde, do you think you can find a Blogging for Dummies book at Barnes and Noble"? I mean they have everything else for dummies... Like how to make balloon animals, how to remove gum from your shoe and so forth and so on... Certainly there must be a book to help me along because I'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants and learning as I go... I need to find a support group that will help me along with my new blogging ventures. Maybe a twelve step program... "Hello, my name is Klinde and I do not how to do many things on my blogs". Everyone in unison will shout out "Hi Klinde" and then some kind soul will become my blog mentor.

Told you I was bored.