Ivy's Interview

I was interviewed by the great and powerful Ivy. Here’s what she had to say:

Muahahaha, time for the really WEIRD questions. ;) First, C&P this shit so people know the rules:

Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Now, for the questions:

1. Which would be more awesome, a castle in England, or a house on the beach in Tahiti?

Oh, both would be phenomenal; however, I am not allowed to answer in such a manner. So now that I have my big girl panties on I will have to say since I have been to England three times (of course there was no castle involved although there should have been – hee) a house on the beach in Tahiti. I have always wanted to go there because it looks so freaking gorgeous!

I believe if I had the financial ability that I could easily become a beach bum. Hell, even without money I could do it; however, having a little $$$ would definitely make it a tad better.

2. What is your worst habit?

Oh, juicy question!! It would have been good to ask my weirdest one as well. I have a raging case of OCD. Hmmm…..

• I overanalyze EVERYTHING.
• I smoke.
• I leave most of my shoes in the kitchen – drives my hubby nuts!
• I am very intolerant of some things and it is VERY obvious, even if you do not know me very well.
• I am a rambler and do not know when to shut up.

I think my worst one though is that I have zero patience. It kinda bleeds onto other aspects of my life. I can be selfish and the zero patience aspect amplifies that bad habit. I am like a Ferrari and can go from 0 to Bitch in 2.3 seconds.

I learned the hard way to not pray for patience because He works in mysterious ways and has a wicked sense of humor. He likes a good practical joke.

3. You can invite any 4 people in the entire world to dinner (they have to be alive, this isn't one of those living or dead questions). The catch is, you also have to invite me to dinner. Who would you invite, knowing I might just embarrass you just for the hell of it?

Damn, I know if I could invite the dead it would be either Mother Theresa or Pope John Paul II….. Not because I think it would stop you from embarrassing me, because if I know you, I bet that wouldn’t stop you. It would probably just mean you wouldn’t drop an “ F “ bomb – LOL.

So on to the real question at hand:

Eric Clapton. From Blind Faith to Cream to Derrick and the Dominos… I love him. I wouldn’t just have him over for dinner I would actually have him FOR dinner. He is my guitar hero. When I watch him live I am completely mesmerized. It is as though the guitar is his lover and he is making love. I need a cigarette now, please.

Amy Tan. “The Joy Luck Club” is one of my favorite books. The entire story is a spell-binding tale of mother/daughter dynamics played out by four separate pairs of mothers and daughters. It is funny where appropriate and heart-wrenching as well. It makes you want to call mama and tell you love her. The movie is pretty good as well. I think I will probably watch it tonight now that I think about it.

JJ Abrams. I want to pick his brain for more information on “Lost”. I want to discuss theories, concepts, plot lines, characters. I want to find out why the hell it goes on hiatus for eight months… I need a 12 step program….

Garrison Keiler. I love his story-telling ability. If there were a lull in the conversation he would be there to help pick it up and delight us with a tale of Guy Noir, Private Eye. Or he could spin a yarn to keep you, Amy and Jerry busy while I seduce Eric. See? I am thinking ahead!

4. If you were a fictional character, who would you be?

Immediately what popped into my mind is Scout from “To Kill a Mockingbird”. That stuck as I contemplated other fictional characters like Hermione… Scout won. Ironically, that is my cat’s name and who she is named for as well. I still believe that “To Kill a Mockingbird” is one of the most important and influential books about discrimination and the ramifications that come from it. Scout is THE heroine in this piece. She is all things I like about strong females, stubborn, outspoken, crafty, curious, intelligent, fearless, but mostly she is a loving human. She has an incredible role model in Atticus. In Depression era Alabama, she does not see the color of Calpurnia’s skin. Instead she sees a strong, loving woman who takes care of her and Jem’s needs.

When I need a pick-me-up, I read this. I probably have read it a hundred times. Just remember the sage advice of Atticus Finch… “Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

5. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?

Someone got busted with the book “Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex but Was Afraid to Ask”. She was 6 and I was 7. She completely lied and said it was mine. I had to have an hour long discussion about sex and masturbation with her mom. Mind you, I was not really certain what sex was at that time and was utterly CLUELESS as to what masturbation was either. I was completely mortified while she explained everything to me. She did so in a very loving manner; however, I could still smack my cousin for putting me through such an ordeal. I am still pissed off about that. Guess I should add “holds a grudge” to the bad habit list….