20 August 2007

Complete and utter panic!

I am in the midst of an uncontrollable panic attack. There is nothing that has happened to trigger it. I can not control it and my heart is beating out of my chest. I took a walk to the CVS by my office and they have a monitor there. My pressure was 170/100!!! It’s usually like 90/60 so the feeling that it is about to beat out of my chest is not just in my mind. It’s kind freaking me out (which, of course, fuels the panic attack).

I have really thought about what could be the cause…. Parents are doing well, husband and I are fine, money is not a problem, no issues at work, and nothing should be causing such a tremendous bout with this.

I have experienced this before; however, I can generally pin point some cause, a reasoning behind it. When that is the case I am usually able to find some clarity to help myself get over it. That is not the case today. And since I am struggling to determine the source it sort of fuels it even more so.

I have had a Xanax. Only one as I need to be able to be fully functional at work and I will need to drive the 20 miles home. I have an obligation at 6:00p tonight to practice for the Dragon Boat race this weekend so I do not have the luxury of going home and attempting to meditate and relax.

Ugh! This is of the suck


Ivy said...

*hugs* I hope all is well with you by now.

badger said...

Hey, hope you are back in sorts. I enjoyed spending time with you and Ingo (spelling?). It was nice to sit back with cold beer and laugh for a while. Hang in there.

claudia said...

HEY. HI. oops cap lock. ok. hi. so i blog too and somehow found you. i've been poking around and i gotta tell you - the anxiety, panic thing - i have it too. just lately. well not exactly. but it's a long story for a comment. i took lexapro last year for 3 months or so and it helped a lot but then i went off it and suddenly 14 months later - bang. i am fighting going back on it. had to drop xanax a couple of times just to take the edge off... so i'll keep checking it with you. nice to meet you...