Let there be light

I am about to complete my third week on Lexapro and I am beginning to be able to tell the difference. I have documented my depression on more than one occasion.

I am glad I finally reached out for help through my physician. It was difficult to once again admit that I can not do this alone and ask for assistance. I was keeping my fingers crossed that it would not come to that again. That this time I could finally be in control without meds but I was wrong. So very, very wrong. I know that this is an illness, it is not something that I have done to myself or on purpose… It simply is a fact of my life and I need to recognize that and ask for help when appropriate.

The fact of the matter is that I was tottering on the edge. Anything that would go wrong in my life I would blame on the depression. Any. Little. Thing. With the notable exception of this. Bad day at work? Well of course that is because I am depressed! Need to sleep 20 hours? Depression, you betcha! Lack of energy? I am too depressed to do anything… House a mess? How am I suppose to clean in this frame of mind? The list goes on and on… It is kinda like the kid who always said the dog ate his homework….

Now that I am beginning to feel “normal” again, I can see all that I blamed on depression. I could not even begin to see it when I was held fast in the throes of it all. I guess you could say I am in the tunnel and yes, I do see the light…