I am okay with this....

Back in August I made a move to reach out to an old friend. After a phone call there was a reunion of sorts. We were chatting away on the phone as though years had not gone by when we decided I should stop over for a face-to-face meeting so we could truly catch up, share photographs, etc.

Whatever the reason, I decided I did not want her to know where I lived just yet… Frankly I do know the reason but have chosen not to share it here but that is a different story for another time. So I went to her place. I was that jittery, nervous, anxious, almost nauseated sort of scared. Nevertheless, I knocked on her door.

There were hugs, a few tears and a few beers. There was an opportunity to see how much her children have grown and how beautiful they are. There were photos of my family and the German whom she has never met. There was the sad tale of how she lost both her grandmother and mother way too soon and less than six months apart. There was the discussion of what I go through with my own mother and her battle with cancer.

All in all I thought everything was going swimmingly. I was still a bit hesitant to reveal too much to let go after such a long time. However, it was amazing how very easily we slipped back into the old routine and it was like a comfortable shoe. This happened last month.

In the time since then I have seen a couple more mutual friends. Funny how that works in that I have not seen these folks in ages and now here they all are... When I told them (on separate occasions and they do not keep in touch with one another) we had reconnected I was sternly warned to stay away. One even said "she's poison". I listened to their tales, not dissimilar from my own of the way the friendship ended with them. I was amazed that the woman I knew for all these years had come to this.

I am heeding their advice and not reaching out again. I will return calls if they are made but some things are better left alone. I have no regrets for making a call and having the brief reunion. Maybe that is what I needed to find closure. It is all good….