19 October 2007

Let there be light

I am about to complete my third week on Lexapro and I am beginning to be able to tell the difference. I have documented my depression on more than one occasion.

I am glad I finally reached out for help through my physician. It was difficult to once again admit that I can not do this alone and ask for assistance. I was keeping my fingers crossed that it would not come to that again. That this time I could finally be in control without meds but I was wrong. So very, very wrong. I know that this is an illness, it is not something that I have done to myself or on purpose… It simply is a fact of my life and I need to recognize that and ask for help when appropriate.

The fact of the matter is that I was tottering on the edge. Anything that would go wrong in my life I would blame on the depression. Any. Little. Thing. With the notable exception of this. Bad day at work? Well of course that is because I am depressed! Need to sleep 20 hours? Depression, you betcha! Lack of energy? I am too depressed to do anything… House a mess? How am I suppose to clean in this frame of mind? The list goes on and on… It is kinda like the kid who always said the dog ate his homework….

Now that I am beginning to feel “normal” again, I can see all that I blamed on depression. I could not even begin to see it when I was held fast in the throes of it all. I guess you could say I am in the tunnel and yes, I do see the light…

6 comments:

claudia said...

wow - what a difference a few weeks can make. been there done that. i so get it. i also think that if we're moving along in the right direction towards enlightenment - or just growth in general, we see things for what they really are more and more... but still, if things get too bleak - give me the medication NOW. and then we can get back on track and see things for what they really are. we are so damn human...

on a different and lighter note - it's hard to make pork and potatoes look attractive. not impossible... but hard...

Klinde said...

Claudia:

I completely agree about growing and enlightenment. It is difficult to see that when you are wading through depression so thank goodness for the medication!

As for the pork and potatoes, you ain’t kiddin!

Sara Sue said...

I'm so glad the meds are working for you, Klinde!

Crabby McSlacker said...

Glad to hear the meds are helping! And you're so right, depression is not something "you've done to yourself on purpose"; it's a medical condition like diabetes or allergies or whatever, and as with other medical conditions, medication can be very effective in treating it.

Take good care of yourself, and glad to hear things are looking up!

Finn said...

I'm glad you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I struggle with depression as well and have been on Zoloft in the past. Am not taking any meds now but I go back and forth as to whether or not I need to talk to the doc about it again. Am glad this is working for you!

Sonia said...

I'm glad you went to the dr! We can try and try and try, but no matter how hard, we cannot overcome "true" depression on our own. At least I never could. I've heard good things about lexapro.