18 July 2007

Crazy conversations I have had about my German

The following is a real conversation I had with someone who found out my husband is from Germany... Enjoy the idiocy...

Him: So your husband is from Germany?

Me: Yep, he is from Hamburg.

Him: So does he speak German?

Me: [???] No, he usually speaks French to piss people off.

Him: Oh, I guess I just figured he would speak German.

Me: He does, I was just being a smart ass.

Him: Does he like German food?

Me: Well since he grew up there, he just calls it food, not German food.

Him: He doesn't call it bratwurst or wienerschnitzel?

Me: Yes, he does, but he doesn't consider it "German food" like you and I do... Just like you don't say it's an "American hot dog", you know?

Him: So what do they call a hot dog in Germany?

Me: I don't know the words they use for it, they could just call it a hot dog.

Him: Does he like German chocolate cake?

Me: He tries to stay away from all foods with a nationality label, he thinks it's prejudicial...

Him: I don't understand....

Me: You know, like he won't eat French toast, Swedish meatballs, Swiss chocolates, stuff like that....

Him: Are you serious?

Me: Totally, he just thinks it's wrong...

Him: Wow, that's f'd up!!

Me: I am just kidding 'cause that would be crazy...

Him: So do they have nice cars there? I mean I know they have the Autobahn and all....

Here I must note the person asking this drives a BMW for the love of all that is good...

Me: Where do you think your car is from originally?

Him: Bavaria, why?

Me: Don't you know where Bavaria is located?

Him: Somewhere in Europe...

Me: [...]

Him: Well isn't it?

Me: Yeah, it's somewhere in Europe...

Him: So you never told me, do they have nice cars there? Like my BMW?

Me: Dude, Bavaria is in Germany... Your car is German... Does that answer your question?

Him: I thought you said Bavaria was in Europe, not Germany?

Me: [sighing] Would you please just fix my computer so I can go?

9 comments:

Ron said...

I feel dumber for having read that, so I can only imagine how you feel for having lived through it.

Klinde said...

Ron, you have noooo idea.... And that is just the tip of the iceberg, believe it or not.

chez béz said...

You promised you wouldn't post our conversation. ;)

Thanks for that. Funny stuff.

Sara Sue said...

Were you speaking with the president?

teabibber said...

Hi K.

I'm so new at this blogging stuff that I just finally realized I had a comment from you. Good to hear from you and see your picture. Did you see my last movie I sent to your Mom. It has a German detective in it.

Second cousin, Rosa

Squirrel Queen said...

My Oh My.
You stuck with that conversation a lot longer than I would have.
Granted, I enjoy talking circles around someone who's oblivious, but I think I would have bailed out on this geographically-challenged idiot.

Parad0x said...

Bavaria? Isn't that some sort of cream filling?

:-)

'Coma said...

I love you guys!

Grace said...

seriously? Really???


ugh. That made my head hurt.