Why don’t ya give me a ring?

Some things just annoy the hell out of me. Case in point, I am sitting at a restaurant and the cell phone of the yahoo next to me starts ringing. Okay, it did not actually ring, per se, it notified its owner (and the surrounding 20 or so tables) with a blood-curdling scream. I jumped when I heard it and I about lost it because it scared me so badly. I mean I would expect zombie freaks to have something like that, but not the dude next to me in his khakis and polo shirt – sheesh….

I heard another shrill one a while back that was of a baby crying. Not just a little sobbing but all out bawling. That one got me too because I was in an elevator and I certainly did not see the little tyke so it kinda weirded me out a bit. The very embarrassed person with this ring explained he had a new baby and that was his infant’s cry. I congratulated him on baby’s lung capacity once I regained my composure. I also told him wait until the kid’s about two and his cell phone will be someone yelling “NO” loudly and repeatedly.

Anyone else heard a cell phone ring that sets them on edge?

I made a move

In regards to the move I just made I got a response... A phone call... I let the unknown number go to voice mail. After listening to her message it was yesteryear hearing her voice. I got that funny pit in my stomach and did not immediately call back. Instead I texted as I was busy. Thank you, technology. I got a reply.

I called today. I told her I was sorry for the loss of her mother to cancer almost six years ago. I was close to her mother as she was to mine. She sincerely told me she was sorry Mama had cancer. We chatted amiably. It was easy to slip into the old routine of 20+ years of friendship (minus the almost eight since "the incident").

She mentioned our quarrel to say "water under the bridge".

I do not know where this is going. I do know where it has been. I do not want history repeated. To say it was ugly at the end is a gross exaggeration.

I am not going to suggest meeting. The ball is in her court. I am not sure if I am ready to trust again; however, I am truly sorry for her loss and want to know about her children. I want her to be happy. Whether or not this is salvageable is still vague.

I will let you know.

Baby steps

I made a move today. Something that took some courage on my behalf. I called my best friend from high school, the matron of honor at my first wedding, someone I have not spoken to since November 1999 for reasons I will not disclose.

There was a disagreement (to say the very least). There were hurt feelings on both sides. There was yelling. A lot of yelling. There was death (her mom) and disease (my mom). I thought of her at times and wondered "what if".

Sometimes friendships made at the tender age of 13 carry on through out a life time. Other times they fizzle out. In my case, there was a flame... Bigger then than the fire that burned out from my divorce.

There was pain. There was tears. A hell of a lot of tears.

I saw a mutual friend Saturday. I proffered my number with a request for a call. I got the call today. I was not available. I texted. I got an answer. I have a knot in my stomach. Probably not a good thing for the raging blood pressure of late (although today was significantly lower than yesterday but still outrageous).

Am I being nostalgic? Or am I genuinely reaching out to make amends?

I do not expect the friendship of the past. Sometimes even true friendships fizzle. You outgrow one another or move on or are on different levels. However, you sometimes hold on to things just simply because of longevity and history. I do not consider that a friendship any longer. Just a weak attempt to either hold on to the past or out of a sense of obligation.

But I reached out nonetheless. She does not even know my last name now. That seems odd to me.

We have lived within 3 miles of one another since the day the music died. I have only seen her twice. Once while walking and the other time at a local store. Neither of us acknowledged the other.

I do not know what this means. I do not know why I felt this overwhelming feeling to reach out. I just know I did.

I am going to suggest a cocktail to "catch up". No idea what will happen. I'll keep you posted.

Dragonheart? Dragon breath? No, Dragon Boat....

I mentioned last month that I would be competing in a Dragon Boat Race. Well, we practiced last night and are all set for the races Saturday, August 25th at Riverfront Park.

The German and I are none the worse for wear. We are on my team, the “Marine Titans”. So if you are of the mind to join the fun, come on down to Riverfront Park on Saturday. Our first race is at 9:00a and we could definitely use a Woot from the crowd!!!

Complete and utter panic!

I am in the midst of an uncontrollable panic attack. There is nothing that has happened to trigger it. I can not control it and my heart is beating out of my chest. I took a walk to the CVS by my office and they have a monitor there. My pressure was 170/100!!! It’s usually like 90/60 so the feeling that it is about to beat out of my chest is not just in my mind. It’s kind freaking me out (which, of course, fuels the panic attack).

I have really thought about what could be the cause…. Parents are doing well, husband and I are fine, money is not a problem, no issues at work, and nothing should be causing such a tremendous bout with this.

I have experienced this before; however, I can generally pin point some cause, a reasoning behind it. When that is the case I am usually able to find some clarity to help myself get over it. That is not the case today. And since I am struggling to determine the source it sort of fuels it even more so.

I have had a Xanax. Only one as I need to be able to be fully functional at work and I will need to drive the 20 miles home. I have an obligation at 6:00p tonight to practice for the Dragon Boat race this weekend so I do not have the luxury of going home and attempting to meditate and relax.

Ugh! This is of the suck

I was there for the beer....

The German and I met up with 'coma, Squirrel Queen, Badger, and Ivy at South Street for a little grub and a beer... Then we headed over to Cafe Coco to hear Ivy's and Kat's presentation at Bar Camp. I HAD to be part of the "Woot" section for them.

Shortly after their presentation, we sat in the hot, hot, hot and had a bit more beer and talked. I met ghia and so many others that I would be linking all night to get them in!! However, if I did not mention that I met the the awesome Grace I would be remiss. I mean how do you not send a little link love to such a cool person?

After our time on the patio we headed out for some Mexican and more beer... Did I mention there was beer?

The German and I had a blast. Looking forward to the next adventure...

Pain in the neck....

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and kind words.

Daddy is out of surgery and all went well. He is currently still in recovery and should be moved into a room in the next hour or so. When that happens I am going to take my happy ass over to St. Thomas to pay him a visit.

Carry on…..