Thoughts...

I found out yesterday that my father is having surgery on Thursday. They did not tell me sooner since the Bubbie was here and I have a tendency toward the dramatic. Did I mention that I am only child who still has the umbilical cord firmly attached? Did I mention that I have truly saved his life before?

Shit.

Carotid on one side is blocked 75%... The other side was 95% back in the 90's and surgery was a success... With the notable exception of giving him penicillin which he is allergic to... Thanks Summit Medical Center.

They do not want me to go. They know I have had enough time off being sick myself with all my own problems. However, I am nervous. Who would not be? He's my father. He is a good man. A damn good man. Everyone should be so lucky to have the kind of father I have been blessed with in my life. True, faithful, generous, giving, loving, caring, gentle, understanding, compassionate... Thank you, God.

If you are the type, say a little prayer. If you are not the type, think good thoughts.

I love you, Daddy.

Edit: If you are family, apologies. Mama and Daddy decided not to pass this along to everyone. Please play along for his sake. Call me, not Mama. I will update the post tomorrow.

Love to you all in Texas and Louisiana. Hope TS Erin misses you all.

Word Nerd

I enjoy some words just because of how the sound. For example: periwinkle, conundrum, onomatopoeia, steatopygious…. If you do not know what these mean then you need to look them up. Seriously, because I am not going to tell you. I am a bitch in that way.

Bad dreams

I had a nightmare. You know how it goes... Wakes you up breathless with your heart pounding...

I dreamed Mama survived cancer only to die in a car wreck. I even vividly remember hearing about it on the radio on my way to work... Wreck at Broadway, fatality involved... Missed call on my cell from Daddy... I was in too much traffic on 440 to answer. Got to work and realized I missed another call... Still too busy to call back.

She's good, thank goodness. And whether you believe it or not, there has been occasions my nightmares come true. I know she is not headed down that route soon. Of. The. Good.

News you can use

I learned something valuable while the Bubbie was here… No matter how much a seven year old begs, it is NOT a good idea to let them have 5 popsicles in a 2 hour period.... Especially not starting at 8:00p....

Lesson learned…. The hard way…

Ivy's Interview

I was interviewed by the great and powerful Ivy. Here’s what she had to say:

Muahahaha, time for the really WEIRD questions. ;) First, C&P this shit so people know the rules:

Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Now, for the questions:

1. Which would be more awesome, a castle in England, or a house on the beach in Tahiti?

Oh, both would be phenomenal; however, I am not allowed to answer in such a manner. So now that I have my big girl panties on I will have to say since I have been to England three times (of course there was no castle involved although there should have been – hee) a house on the beach in Tahiti. I have always wanted to go there because it looks so freaking gorgeous!

I believe if I had the financial ability that I could easily become a beach bum. Hell, even without money I could do it; however, having a little $$$ would definitely make it a tad better.

2. What is your worst habit?

Oh, juicy question!! It would have been good to ask my weirdest one as well. I have a raging case of OCD. Hmmm…..

• I overanalyze EVERYTHING.
• I smoke.
• I leave most of my shoes in the kitchen – drives my hubby nuts!
• I am very intolerant of some things and it is VERY obvious, even if you do not know me very well.
• I am a rambler and do not know when to shut up.

I think my worst one though is that I have zero patience. It kinda bleeds onto other aspects of my life. I can be selfish and the zero patience aspect amplifies that bad habit. I am like a Ferrari and can go from 0 to Bitch in 2.3 seconds.

I learned the hard way to not pray for patience because He works in mysterious ways and has a wicked sense of humor. He likes a good practical joke.

3. You can invite any 4 people in the entire world to dinner (they have to be alive, this isn't one of those living or dead questions). The catch is, you also have to invite me to dinner. Who would you invite, knowing I might just embarrass you just for the hell of it?

Damn, I know if I could invite the dead it would be either Mother Theresa or Pope John Paul II….. Not because I think it would stop you from embarrassing me, because if I know you, I bet that wouldn’t stop you. It would probably just mean you wouldn’t drop an “ F “ bomb – LOL.

So on to the real question at hand:

Eric Clapton. From Blind Faith to Cream to Derrick and the Dominos… I love him. I wouldn’t just have him over for dinner I would actually have him FOR dinner. He is my guitar hero. When I watch him live I am completely mesmerized. It is as though the guitar is his lover and he is making love. I need a cigarette now, please.

Amy Tan. “The Joy Luck Club” is one of my favorite books. The entire story is a spell-binding tale of mother/daughter dynamics played out by four separate pairs of mothers and daughters. It is funny where appropriate and heart-wrenching as well. It makes you want to call mama and tell you love her. The movie is pretty good as well. I think I will probably watch it tonight now that I think about it.

JJ Abrams. I want to pick his brain for more information on “Lost”. I want to discuss theories, concepts, plot lines, characters. I want to find out why the hell it goes on hiatus for eight months… I need a 12 step program….

Garrison Keiler. I love his story-telling ability. If there were a lull in the conversation he would be there to help pick it up and delight us with a tale of Guy Noir, Private Eye. Or he could spin a yarn to keep you, Amy and Jerry busy while I seduce Eric. See? I am thinking ahead!

4. If you were a fictional character, who would you be?

Immediately what popped into my mind is Scout from “To Kill a Mockingbird”. That stuck as I contemplated other fictional characters like Hermione… Scout won. Ironically, that is my cat’s name and who she is named for as well. I still believe that “To Kill a Mockingbird” is one of the most important and influential books about discrimination and the ramifications that come from it. Scout is THE heroine in this piece. She is all things I like about strong females, stubborn, outspoken, crafty, curious, intelligent, fearless, but mostly she is a loving human. She has an incredible role model in Atticus. In Depression era Alabama, she does not see the color of Calpurnia’s skin. Instead she sees a strong, loving woman who takes care of her and Jem’s needs.

When I need a pick-me-up, I read this. I probably have read it a hundred times. Just remember the sage advice of Atticus Finch… “Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

5. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?

Someone got busted with the book “Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex but Was Afraid to Ask”. She was 6 and I was 7. She completely lied and said it was mine. I had to have an hour long discussion about sex and masturbation with her mom. Mind you, I was not really certain what sex was at that time and was utterly CLUELESS as to what masturbation was either. I was completely mortified while she explained everything to me. She did so in a very loving manner; however, I could still smack my cousin for putting me through such an ordeal. I am still pissed off about that. Guess I should add “holds a grudge” to the bad habit list….

Center Piece of your family

Reason number 1,107,727 why I love the German...

A little over three years ago, my parents called me, their only child, regarding an important issue... They wanted to move Nana here from San Antonio. She was about to turn 84.

This was way before the cancer diagnosis, and Mama gave her two options. Move here before Christmas 2004 or after Easter 2005. Pick one. She chose the latter.

I had no problem saying move her here. It was understood that Nana would live her final years with Mama and Daddy. Completely unspoken. Trust me, I lived close enough to her most of my life to know the drill.

Of course I had no issue. I know she is is aging. I know that encompasses change. I know that she has survived two husbands. I know she is a strong, proud woman. The youngest of a group of sisters. She grew up poor. She raised five children. She has eight grandchildren. She does crossword puzzles in black ink. She had a rotary dial phone. She plays a mean game of canasta. She rocks.

She turned 86 today. She was a widow for the first time at 42. I will be 42 next year and that fact scares the shit out of me. She was widowed again shortly before her 80th birthday.

She is a strong woman. She is a beautiful woman. Did I mention she still does crossword puzzles in ink?

So anyway, when Mama and Daddy had the family meeting (yes, we really do have family meetings) to let me know they wanted to move her here (we are still a family democracy so my vote counts) I said yes. They asked me what the German thought. Honestly, his opinion never crossed my mind. Sorry, this was about my Nana. I grew up with her, he didn't. It may be wrong, but it's the truth. We (Mama, Daddy and I) made a decision, wasn't that all that mattered? Mama in her ever politically correct way told me the German now had a vote. We lived together then, not yet engaged. I was planning a future with him. It mattered. His answer? The title of the blog. He told me that if Mama. Daddy and I were run over by a truck, his job was her. To take her back to her biological family unless she wanted him to be the care taker.... The answer is, she loves him, but no. Get her to Texas.

So in a REALLY roundabout way, happy 86th birthday. You are the oldest person the Bubbie knows. You are the cornerstone of the "M" family. You are still a card shark. You still have the same laugh. You are still the same woman who could not get out of the wheelchair since Mama threatened you (insert "M" family joke). You still made me eat lemon egg (Jentina, I am looking at you).

You are the cornerstone of our family.

Thank your parents!

Seriously. Quit reading and call your parents. Tell them thank you. Being a parent is HARD WORK and do not let anyone tell you otherwise!!

Biologically the Bubbie is not mine. Emotionally and mentally he is 100%. I can not physically have biological children; however, I have the best of both worlds when it comes to the Bubbie... An incredibly brilliant, articulate, amazing, beautiful human being to laugh with and share secrets. To snuggle with, to see things in a perspective I have not in decades. But mostly to love.

I am wiped out. The energy he exudes seems directly correlated to the energy that is sucked out of me. No, I am not complaining. He is worth it. Being physically drained at work is a fair trade for the joy that bubbles out of watching him delight in the little things. His laugh is lyrical, magical and creates a feeling I have no way to describe in words... All I can say is it makes me feel even more alive. Like I can feel everything to the highest degree and see it all over again as if it were new to me as well.

He is only here until August 12th. So much to do, so little time.

Parents everywhere, KUDOS! There is a special place in Heaven just for you... What a blessing!!