Lessons learned - NOT!

I have a bad habit... A really bad habit... I have the tendency to not think before speaking or twittering. After 41 years, you would think I would have learned, but no.... I come by it naturally, women in my family have done the same. Today I would like to share a few of these with you.

Example one, we play this stupid game as a family... Here's how it goes... You pick real words that end in the letter O and you make up a question about it as if it were one of the Marx brothers (Groucho, not Karl). Like what three Marx brothers are chips? Dorito, Tostito and Frito... Get it? I thought you would. Well Mama, Nana and I were sitting in Hobby airport to fly back to Nashville. Mama asked me what Marx brother was a "toy" and I said "Dildo". Nana looks at me and asks what a dildo is.. I begin to snort as does my mother. I don't answer and my mother doesn't either. This does not bode well with my nana. She asks again... Now I have tears rolling down my face and I have almost fallen off my chair. Don't get me wrong, it pleases me that a woman in her eighties does not know what a dildo is, truly it does. Well my grandmother is getting more upset that we are cackling and snorting so she stands up and loudly asks us (using both mine and Mama's first and middle names to really make her point) "what is a dildo"? Unfortunately, she had raised her voice and everyone around us went completely silent. I actually did fall off of the chair and then quietly told Nana what it was... Everyone was still staring at us... My grandmother turned to me and said "who the hell would want one of those"? Fortunately it was then time to board the plane and our fellow passengers broke out into applause.

Example two, I was at the doctor's office with my mother when the doctor came in my purse started buzzing. I casually told Mama to get the vibrator out for me... My mother did not bat an eye and reached into my bag knowing exactly what I meant... And what I really meant was to get my vibrating cell phone. I turned crimson and the doctor had to leave the room to regain her composure.

I promise example three is not about sex toys...

Example three, I was on the phone at the doctors office talking to HR about my leave of absence. I told her that I needed the insurance info so I could get my STD taken care of... What I meant (and HR knew too) was short-term disability for my being out with mono. Unfortunately everyone in my doc's office now thinks I have syphillis.

Me and my big mouth.

Auntie D's hubby

I just got off of the phone with my mom and found out my uncle has lesions on his brain and they are looking for the primary source of cancer as I type this because the lesions mean it has metastasized from another location. He is only 51 or 52 and my Auntie D (Mama's baby sis) is a mess. When I feel a bit better my mom will probably leave for Austin to help her and her family because Aunti D is having a really hard time and she is closest to my mother than her other siblings.

Certainly makes my mono pale in comparison.

I am really upset by it because Auntie D and I are very close. She is like a big sis to me because we are only 11 years apart.

Auntie D's hubby has a sis studying to be an oncologist. She is on her way to Austin to help them and ask/answer questions and say it in ways that they understand. That ought to help her out tremendously.

When it rains, it pours...

Finally some good news!!

Since it has been such a "woe is me" blog as of late with news of my depression and my mono, it is wonderful to report there is happy news for my family... Very happy!

I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNT AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Yes, you heard me right! I called the chef on the 20th as it was his 43rd birthday. The chef is Mein Deustcher's little brother. The chef told me that Ambie is 2 months preggers!! I am so excited!!! I am so happy for them because I know this is something they have both wanted!

Yay!!!

It's my mono and I'll nap if I want to....

Guess who only made it back to work for 2 whole days before crashing and burning??!?!!? If you guessed Klinde, you win! I am going back out until at least the 29th of February. I am one sick puppy.

Just thought you all would like to know. Carry on!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

To my husband whom I love with my whole heart...

I wish you a happy Valentine's day my love. I pray that you and I will grow old together and be even more in love than we are now.

You have my heart and I love you dearly and completely. I thank God you are mine.

Me again...

I have been home with mono since the 6th. The doc wrote me out until the 18th when I can return to work. I am only sleeping about 16 hours a day which is not the 22 hours my cat recommends.


Life will improve I am sure...

And the winner is......

Like my buddies Ivy, Ginger and Coma, I pushed the button for Barack. If you want to know why, click here and watch to be inspired.

If you have not gone out yet, please do so! Anyone in line by 7:00p local time will get to cast their vote. I was in and out in 29 minutes. Not that I was counting or anything...

Sicky poo

Seems I like I am always blogging about being sick or depressed or something that always is a downer. I can't believe I have contracted mono for a third time at 41 years old!! I am wiped out.... And believe me, that is an understatement! I slept about 35 hours this weekend. I am still going to work. I can barely keep my eyes open now and it is only 7:30. I am trying to stay awake to watch my favorite show but it does not come on until 9:00 so I may not make it. I am a dud.

Truly, I have become my cat. Only I am getting a mere 10 hours of sleep a day.

The poor German is relegated to all household duties. Cooking, cleaning, doing my bidding. I try not to take advantage; however, I am so freaking tired that I can barely manuever the stairs after an 8.5 hour day at work. Thankfully my boss is understanding and suggested (as did the doc) that I take a week or two off to recover properly. That is not my style. I need to go to work and do my job.

I feel like I have been given a megadose of phenergan after taking a handful of Tylenol PM chased by a glass full of vodka. That is how tired I feel.

I tend to get bleary-eyed just walking around. Supposedly I should begin to feel better in 2 - 6 weeks. Look out, come Easter I should be raring to go.

I really should not complain, it could be so much worse. But you know how that goes... Whatever is wrong with you at the time seems like the worse thing ever. Right now I just want to curl up and sleep until March. That might make it all better.